Celebrant services in Wellington, Lower Hutt, Upper Hutt, Kapiti Coast, and the Wairarapa
rites of passage / life-transitions
Graham Small
a celebrant for all those important stages
A Rite of Passage is a life-transition ceremony held by nearly all societies
to observe a person’s entry into a new stage of life or existence.
These ‘steps of life’ note such occasions as birth/ naming,
graduation, coming of age, marriage, life-closure (funeral/memorial).
Most rites help people focus on new roles. Sensitively and calmly facilitated they can encourage, give hope, activate fond memories, affirm spiritual values, and strengthen relationships.
Ceremonies that I’m most frequently asked to assist with are
Funerals, Namings, Weddings, Home Blessings
THE FUNERAL or MEMORIAL SERVICE
The death of a person we love and honour often draws us together. The funeral event is historically the oldest known ceremonial activity. As humans we have a constant need to affirm the value of life and at the same time to confront openly and honestly the reality of death …and seek to give it meaning!
A formal definition of the funeral as we know it has been stated thus: …an organised, purposeful, time-limited, flexible, group-centred response to death.
The funeral then, becomes that experience in which a person/family can be helped to face the reality of what has happened; let memory become a part of the process of grieving, and give expression to honest feelings. The ceremony may also help the bereaved accept the community support that is offered.
The ceremony (that can be held in place of choice) reflects the life and person honoured. It can be as formal or informal, religious, faith affirming or non-religious as desired. Family and friends can be invited to take part speaking about the deceased or offering a reading, poem, or prayer. Tributes from service clubs, RSA, bowling clubs, lodges etc can be effectively included if appropriate. Photos can be displayed or/and screened, and other significant items can be placed for show, adding that personal touch. Music – pre-recorded, or ‘live’, along with the invitation for all assembled to join in the singing of a hymn or favourite song can be part of the service also.
Before the actual ceremony, the celebrant visits and assists the family to think about the type of service they would like for their loved one. Explaining the content of the service, listening and offering suggestions, sharing various readings and poems are all part of the celebrant’s role. Maintaining contact with the bereaved, and inviting them to contact the celebrant any time before the day of the service is welcomed.
Enquiries / questions are certainly welcomed by the celebrant relating to the structure, content, and length of service – the average ceremony being approximately 40minutes.
PLEASE NOTE:
Fee for services is based on current costs set by funeral companies.
A plastic covered printed copy of the funeral service script is provided to the bereaved after the ceremony.
THE WEDDING CEREMONY
A Wedding ceremony affirms – often publicly, and sealed legally – a mutual relationship of love, trust, and commitment to journey and grow together, by two people that have found joy and meaning in each others company, and are stronger together than either one of them is apart. Weddings take place in all sort of places – churches, private homes, cathedrals, synagogues, gardens, restaurants, hotels, mosques, reception and conference centres, historic locations, temples, beaches, mountains, boats, high-rise structures, hot-air balloons – you name it!
Having officiated as a marriage celebrant at many weddings (in/on at least seven of the above mentioned) the common factor to them all, is the personal aspect; each couple wish their ceremony, and the promises they make to each other, to be unique and like no other.
That of course, is how it should be.
That is how I help the couple design and craft their service.
Suggestions by the couple are listened to; suggestions are offered, questions answered.
The length and timing of the wedding ceremony will vary depending on the content (the average time being 20 minutes). Having others – family, friends – taking part; offering a reading/poem, and/or perhaps having a musical group or solo singer, can be incorporated within the ceremony adding that personal touch, and sense of variety. The occasion can be small and intimate, large and formal, causal, religious-faith-centred, non-religious – or a balance of spiritual content. Again: you name it!
In discussing the ceremony an initial visit or contact is made and printed material of suggested ceremony outlines, plus a selection of Wedding Vows and Prayers/Blessings/Readings etc. (if desired) is left with or e-mailed to the couple.
The current legal requirement of a marriage in New Zealand is also explained, if not already known.
WEDDING FEE
The current requested wedding service fee is $350.*
This includes an initial visit with the couple; also a practise and the actual wedding ceremony on the day plus also a complete copy of the uniquely prepared wedding script enclosed with the wedding certificate, handed to the couple at the conclusion of the service.
The place of venue and distance travelled may result in extra cost.
* If no practise is required, nor a copy of the ceremony, and/or the couple wish for a ‘very basic’ simple service (e.g. say 10 minutes or less), the fee can certainly be negotiated.
HOME BLESSING
A Home Blessing is both an acknowledgement of a significant event associated with one’s place of dwelling, and marking it in some particular way with ritual.
A Home Blessing may be requested for:
- a ‘new’ home,
- following the arrival of a new life,
- after a death,
- for cleansing (of evil influence),
- to mark a new beginning etc.
My approach is based and centred in Christian tradition. Water, as a symbol for refreshing and cleansing can be used – sprinkled lightly throughout. A lighted candle – with suggested symbolism – can be included. Spoken prayer is offered and affirmed.
Home Blessings can be brief – within one room, or comprehensive, involving each room in the dwelling. Pets within and around the home can be acknowledged also in the Blessing.
CEREMONY FEE
The ceremony fee requested is around $100 plus travel, depending on the number of rooms and requirements. A copy of the procedure is left within the home after the Blessing.
THE NAMING CEREMONY
At all times, and for all religions and peoples, birth has been seen as a wonderful, awe-inspiring event full of mystery and joy; an occasion to be celebrated indeed!
The registration of the birth of a baby is a very businesslike affair. Most parents feel that they would like to mark the birth, growth, and name of their child in some more meaningful family-centred way.
A Naming Ceremony is one such way that a couple who have received the gift of a new life, can express their joy and celebration, within the context of gathered family and friends. Many couples see it as a way of expressing the child’s identity (affirming the chosen given names) and saying “thank you” to God, however they conceive the Giver of Life to be!
Although the couple may have little (or no involvement) in organised religious activity, a Naming Ceremony is nevertheless a profound expression of spirituality. To ask for an occasion to gather with others; expressing joy, and commit to care, love, and guidance of a little life, is an essential part of all Faiths and cultures.
A Naming Ceremony is an occasion then, of saying “Thank you” while at the same time making a commitment to wise parenthood, acknowledging the need for support and encouragement from others. The ceremony also performs the function of introducing the extended family and community of friends to its newest member with her/his uniquely chosen names.
The content, and length of time that the ceremony may take, acknowledgement of god-parents/mentors, reading(s), music, involvement of others etc can all be discussed with the celebrant. A copy of the entire ceremony is made available (to the parents) following the happy occasion.
CEREMONY FEE
The requested fee for a Naming Ceremony is $130 plus travel
This includes the initial visit with the family, discussion, suggestions listened too, suggestions offered. Ongoing contact via e-mail can be maintained if available. Fee includes also the ceremony on the day, plus a complete copy of the uniquely prepared Naming Ceremony, handed to the parents at the conclusion of the service.
Additional visits (to the initial one) and/or ‘practise run’ plus location of venue and distance travelled may incur a little extra cost.